


Verbal Impact

by writesometimes



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8230165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writesometimes/pseuds/writesometimes
Summary: He gained no victory in causing Silver any sort of anguish. It had been far too long since he'd felt guilty over some petty remark barked out callously. Flint almost wished he could pluck the words from the air and swallow them back down.





	

"It must be awful being you." 

The words echoed in Flint's head. They were thrown his way with a teasing tone. Silver had, of course, no way of knowing at that time how true they were. How deeply they would resonate. He had no way of knowing it had become unbearably awful being Flint. That it was so awful he had fully intended to sink into the sea days before, when they had been under attack trying to claim the _Urca_ gold. 

And then there was Silver, to pluck him from the surf and drag him ashore. Like he was doing the Captain a favor. He'd lost everything. His naval career, his home, the man he considered a father, Thomas. _Thomas_. Being Captain Flint was truly awful. And yet, Silver had only ensured his awfulness endured. That he'd survived. He should resent the man. Hate him even. But Silver had unknowingly given him another chance to reach the goal he and Thomas had held so dear. Thomas hadn't been there to fish Flint from the sea, so Silver did.

"It must be awful being you." 

It rattled around in his brain as he drifted off to sleep. It screamed through his subconscious when he awoke. And yet, Silver still tried to _help_ him. Help him retain his Captaincy. Help him win favor on the beach that fateful day so men would take his side over Vane's. He refused to just let Flint slip away. To let him be beaten. 

The words beat a steady rhythm in Flint's mind, angering him, confusing him, demanding retaliation from him. He wanted to wound Silver as badly as he'd been wounded. It wasn't until Silver informed him of the loss of the _Urca_ gold that Flint saw his chance. 

Darkness had claimed the beach and chaos was threatening to engulf the island. Silver sat in private with the Captain, discussing the upcoming crew vote. That's when he got it. The opportunity to wound the man verbally. 

"Where else in the world would you matter?"

He spit the words contemptuously at Silver. And the moment had arrived. A split second where Silver contemplated just _how_ insignificant he was to the world. To everyone outside the _Walrus_ crew he was nothing. It registered on his face only a moment, the feeling of sheer worthlessness. 

To Flint's astonishment, he gained no joy from it. The weight did not lift from his shoulders as he'd imagined it would. He felt... monstrous. He gained no victory in causing Silver any sort of anguish. It had been far too long since he'd felt guilty over some petty remark barked out callously. Flint almost wished he could pluck the words from the air and swallow them back down. But no. That was not who he was now. That was not who Captain Flint had to be. He couldn't take the words back.

He was cursed now, to live his life in such a way. To hurl insults and feel remorse for them, but never allowed to fully explain it. Never allowed to tell anyone he derived no joy from what he did. To be forever silent about the fact that he was, truthfully, tormented inside. 

Until. Until he wasn't. Until Silver talked him out of sacrificing himself for the crew when they were captives of the Maroon people. Until the two of them sat around a campfire in private one night and the Captain bared his very soul. It was all laid out for Silver now, how _awful_ it was to be Captain Flint. And somehow, Flint was relieved. He had a confidant again. 

He thought about all of it as he watched Silver hobble through the Maroon settlement, on his way to the Captain's hut. How far they'd come. How much they understood one another. Just how aligned they were now, in all of this. Silver brushed past him through the doorway, small smile on his lips. No doubt he had intriguing information for his Captain. 

But all Flint could hear was, "It must be awful being you." 

He grabbed Silver's wrist, stopping the man dead in his tracks, and studied him carefully. "It's not as awful now. Being me," he rasped seriously. 

Silver cocked his head, confusion slowly flooding his face.

Flint closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You told me, once, that it must be awful being me and..."

"It's nice to know I have a place where I matter," Silver cut him off.

Flint felt the words hit him like a cannon blast. Silver had carried those words with him. They'd done what Flint had intended. Wound. He felt sorrow nesting in his chest. Lightly, he rubbed at the inside of Silver's wrist with his thumb. Silver stared at him, eyes wide and full of amazement. 

The moment passed between them quickly, and Flint released Silver's wrist carefully. They both struggled to breathe evenly. At last, Flint closed his eyes and turned away from Silver.

The Quartermaster laid a gentle hand on the Captain's shoulder. "We don't have to be each other's ends," he whispered.

Flint swallowed thickly. He couldn't let Silver meet his end. He meant too much to the Captain now.

"Strange pairs," Flint muttered as he turned to face Silver once more.

Silver offered him a tight lipped smile. Flint grasped his wrist again, began tracing delicate lines over the veins there, and smiled back softly. Flint didn't have to be lost, alone in the darkness of his mind anymore. Silver knew he'd carved out a place in the world where he'd always matter.

**Author's Note:**

> Cause I'm rewatching Black Sails and haha I have so many feelings and am in hell all over again
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://imwritesometimes.tumblr.com/)


End file.
